Trough again of the rollercoaster.

I thought modern rollercoasters like to give you more time at the peak before you dive straight down. This doesn't seem to be the case for me and one more peculiar feature of my rollercoaster is that the length of the trough is ridiculously out of proportion to that of the hills. The only good thing about riding this rollercoaster is that it's going fast. So hopefully it'll go up again, like it has for the past week. ( there was a suicidal dive to where i now am yesterday)

I had spent hours and hours on this stupid Freshfields application form. (Thank you truthfully, tho, to Kerensa who gave me this precious piece of information. ) 2 blank pages for me to write about my background, career, interests and aspirations, work history and why i'm applying to them. After that one blank page of how i'd heard about the firm. Gees how the hell did you think I'd heard about HSBC??

I love writing though I have very bad language skills I have to admit. Lack of vocabularies (considering I'm going to Vivien Chan & Co tomorrow that notoriously harsh lady.....testing SAT words??? i'm inadequate in ordinary english vocab don't mention SAT....) and no idea how to express myself. A short history of the development of my emotional centre:

• Learned how to play (and cut down study time) from F.3 onwards
• Started developing conscious stupid behaviours from F.4 onwards
• Gradually tried to speak out anger in F.6 and 7
• Learned to hate (and perhaps love...perhaps...not sure) in F.7
• Tried to understand/recognise and express my emotion with help from Darling F.7 onwards
• Started expressing emotion with words, diary started in year 1
• Started to sing with emotion year 2
• Started to display facial expression with eye contact in acting for opera year 3
• Learned how to love year 3 to year 4, but still an apprentice
• Still writing crap year 4 and still crap at understanding emotions

I am only capable of writing about scienfic facts, cynical comments and oh what i can write well occasionally is , my sarcasm, mostly directed towards my own self. Guess that's not what the firms wants though.

I'm trying to be happy and positive. So, for your information, i'll try to improve on my expression with words...don't know what i'm writing.

Don't want to spend too much time here writing tho i do have a lot to write about. Haven't started the bloody SPA yet, got to read something for Vivien Chan & Co, want to work on my song and read some books sucks no time.

Got very good news from a friend. Hey if you need space to write i'll let you post your thoughts up here on my page haha! "For Lease - secret writing space, undisclosed readers (but you do have readers so you can share)" haha~ tell me if you're interested.

Signed,

Blue and grey Mocha in a gloomy afternoon.