Echoes...

I hear sounds echoing in my head, sounds of no meaning but only annoyance, which now forms the constituents of my mind. I guess my mind is not really blank then?

There are a lot of things which I don't want to know and I don't need to know. I say that I don't care to know.

I lie.

I hate insecurity. Or may be it's better to say that I fear it. One thing the online personality tests may be right about, is that I do value independence a lot. I fear of helplessness.

Talking to 27 year-olds or people in their late 20s does make me feel naive, simple, immature, inexperienced and clueless. I'm not sure if i was entirely comfortable with my friend's comment that while he is 27 and i am 23....I am like a baby......although I'm sure he didn't mean any offence.

I need to focus my energy on something new. I'm so empty now.

I'm 23 and for some time I've been stressing on every aspect of my life as if I got advanced notice that I'll only live to 30. Time is of the essence. There are so much to do yet I have no idea what they are, but yes, there are and will definitely be a lot to do and I better do them before 30. (sounding worse than my dear friend CS who aims to retire by age 40!!!) What do i want? Security or adventure? I'm positively uncertain.

Can I ever be satisfied? Can I ever stop "wanting"? BUT HAVE I EVER GOT ANYTHING I WANTED THOUGH?!?!

Loser. And I refuse to be stuck in this state.